Premeditated Triple Homicide Taken Completely Out Of Context

Illustration for article titled Premeditated Triple Homicide Taken Completely Out Of Context

EL PASO, TX—Maintaining that “you kind of had to be there” to really get the gist of his grisly series of murders, local killer James Greiner told reporters Wednesday that the premeditated triple homicide he committed had been taken completely out of context. “As someone who was actually the one shooting and stabbing people, I’d just like to say that it made a whole lot more sense in the moment,” said Greiner, who also noted that the “holier-than-thou hypocrites” passing judgment on him didn’t know anything about his life, his victims, or the plot to kill and bury them in his backyard he had worked out over three weeks. “I know I’m not perfect, but everyone’s looking at this thing and jumping to the conclusion that it’s some kind of monstrous scheme cooked up by a cold-blooded killer. In some ways, I almost wish those people I murdered were still alive to explain exactly how normal the whole thing actually was.” Greiner added that his fingerprints, blood, and semen had also been taken wildly out of context by investigators.