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Presidential Briefings

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The documents below are part of a trove of classified files provided to The Onion by an anonymous whistleblower in the White House. All of these documents can be found here.

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Daily Affirmation: I Don't Need Help

Report: A Nice, Smooth Cigarette Sounds Good Right About Now, Doesn’t It?

The Royal Line Of Succession

President's Daily Briefing: February 15, 2017

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President's Daily Briefing: February 21, 2017

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Alexa?
Has an 8" HD touchscreen which can let you watch shows, stream things, or even make video calls thanks to the 13 MP camera, you can also use it to control other smart devices in your home with ease, and even display photos if you want to as a digital photo frame.

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President's Daily Briefing: March 9, 2017

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