LONDON—In an effort to get past the acrimony stirred up by a recent Netflix documentary, Prince William and Prince Harry reportedly settled their dispute Monday by announcing arranged marriages between their children. “This allows us to put to rest all that nasty feuding and get down to what really matters, which is breeding the royal family,” said Prince William, who stressed that the marriage between his 7-year-old daughter, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Harry’s 3-year-old son, Archie Mountbatten-Windsor, would head off any potential strife by ensuring their bloodlines were forever entwined. “Of course, Harry’s son is technically not even a prince, but that’s really neither here nor there. Since time immemorial, the monarchy has avoided disturbances in the kingdom through strategic marriages, and this one looks highly promising. They’re not too closely related, merely first cousins, so hopefully only a few of their children will have hemophilia.” Prince William went on to reveal that the wedding would be in summer 2023.
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