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Professor Not Buying Student’s Bullshit About Having To Play In NCAA Tournament

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PROVIDENCE, RI—Telling the student that he needed to come up with a better excuse for not handing in assignments on time, a Providence College professor was reportedly not buying A.J. Reeves’ bullshit Tuesday about having to play in the NCAA tournament. “Listen, I’m a reasonable person, but you can’t just waltz in here with completely ridiculous explanations like being on a basketball team that’s so good you have to play in college’s biggest tournament,” said business professor Liam Reilly, reminding the senior that he’d already used the excuse that he needed to play in the Big East conference tournament several times over the past week. “I extended a deadline once because you had to go play basketball in Indianapolis, and again the next week when you had to play in Pennsylvania. You can’t keep coming in here with this excuse that it’s a big game—what, they’re all big games? Look, when I was your age, I played basketball too. It was a one-day commitment. You’re in college now, and that means you’re responsible for what you say, so if you come in here next time with some wild excuse about having to go play in the Final Four, I will have to fail you in this course.” At press time, sources confirmed Reeves was weighing the merits of trying to get out of next week’s assignment by telling his professor that his basketball coach had died.