Amazon has relied on its convenience and low prices to become the biggest online retailer on the planet, but the company has recently come under increased scrutiny for a variety of issues regarding its effect on competition and the ways it treats its workers. The Onion presents the pros and cons of Amazon.


PRO

Shuttered brick-and-mortar stores make for fascinating photographic backdrops.

Get to buy things.

Cities vying for HQ2 are incentivized to address their municipal problems, such as neighborhoods with too many people of color and neighborhoods lacking cool bars for tech bros.

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Amazon Prime offers access to a wide array of original shows Netflix passed on.

From sweatshop labor to drone manufacturing, Amazon is one of the biggest innovators in the suppression of civil liberties.


CON

Won’t even be horny anymore by the time fuck swing arrives.

Helped cause bankruptcy of caring, altruistic small businesses like Borders.

Can currently hear you.

Warehouse employee who failed to fill your order of laundry detergent because of his daughter’s dance recital was immediately terminated.

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Very clearly evil.