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Pros And Cons Of Casinos

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Chicago is the latest U.S. city to approve the construction of a casino, a move that has stoked both excitement and controversy among residents. The Onion looks at the pros and cons of casinos.


  • Easier to displace minorities when there’s financial backing from city
  • Only way to persuade Celine Dion to visit your shitty town
  • Lots of felt to touch
  • Somewhere to go while kid at school
  • Gambling addiction keeps residents from moving away, shoring up local tax base


  • Lures millions of tourists away from local folklore and craft museum
  • Really thought ball was going to land on red
  • Sitting hunched over slot machine all day losing all your money is bad for your back
  • Gambling still not as fun as drugs
  • Money you spend at casinos should really be going to DraftKings