Pros And Cons Of E-Bikes

With nearly 1 million sold in 2021 and the U.S. market expected to keep growing, electric bikes have attracted their share of champions and critics. The Onion looks at the pros and cons of e-bikes.

PRO

• Total pussy magnet
• Reasonable compromise between fitness and sedentary death
• Heavier frame will cause more damage to hit-and-run driver’s car
• No need to pedal or steer or be awake

CON

• Significantly hampers coal-powered bicycle industry
• Stigma of e- prefix
• Can be expensive once you factor in it immediately being stolen
• Makes it obvious rider too much of a pussy to ride motorcycle