Pros And Cons Of Eliminating The Filibuster

Illustration for article titled Pros And Cons Of Eliminating The Filibuster

The 50-50 deadlock in the Senate has led to calls for Democrats to eliminate the filibuster, which requires 60 votes for much of the chamber’s legislation to pass, in order to enact President Biden’s agenda, while opponents from both sides of the aisle warn of unintended consequences. The Onion evaluates the pros and cons of eliminating the filibuster.

PRO

Clears way for fresh, new obstructionist maneuvers.

Senators more of the strong, silent type.

Just fun to eliminate things sometimes.

Feet hurt, can’t stand any longer.

Opens path to raise minimum wage for all U.S. senators.

CON

Could delegitimize act of spouting endless bullshit.

Occasional diapered congressperson integral to fetishist agenda.

Has led to stirring, patriotic moments like Strom Thurmond’s protest of the Civil Rights Act.

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The old ways blah blah blah tradition blah blah history blah.

Country still holding out to see a senator die live on C-SPAN 20 hours into filibuster.

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