Free speech has become an increasingly contentious issue on college campuses as students, faculty, and the national media debate whether schools should impose restrictions on things like protests, guest speakers, and course material. The Onion takes a look at the pros and cons of free speech on college campuses.
PRO
Provides students the opportunity to hear new arguments that bolster their existing beliefs
Promotes diversity of backlash
Debating controversial ideas reduces time students would otherwise spend experimenting sexually
Connects study of history to real world by inviting Nazis to campus
Might be people’s last opportunity to stand on a desk
CON
You can really stick it to those delicate liberal snowflake rape survivors
Gives students false impression that solving problems in real world involves free and open discussion
Free speech includes dry witticisms and puns
Permits students to protest Columbus Day in the dining hall when you’re just trying to eat lunch
Bullhorn feedback a real issue
Provides never-ending source of material for hand-wringing New York Times columnists
Propagates illusion that others care what you have to say