The popularity of DNA testing for ancestry by companies like 23andMe and AncestryDNA has skyrocketed in recent years as people seek to know more about their pasts, but critics warn of unintended consequences. The Onion looks at the pros and cons of genetic testing for ancestry.


PRO

A definitive way to finally prove to everyone you have $79.

Can trace proud lineage back to ancestors who decimated America’s indigenous population.

Advertisement

Something to talk about for a couple days.

Get to mail spit!

Handy reference for government to use when eugenics program kicks off.


CON

Takes the fun out of making up your heritage.

Risk living with truth that you’re actually Latvian instead of Lithuanian.

Finally getting caught for all the murders you committed in the ’70s.

Finding out via email that you probably have cystic fibrosis.

Gives false hope to anyone who believes their results may be remotely interesting to anyone else.

Advertisement