Noise-canceling headphones are increasingly popular, but many people think they’re not worth the purchase. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of buying noise-canceling headphones.
Closest you’ll ever get to having a private office at work.
Allows students to study while blocking out annoying gunfire.
You might get hit by a truck.
Can block out unwanted noise while still listening to music at a safe, cowardly volume.
Valuable tool for keeping life at arm’s length.
Might miss some beautiful noise.
Would be super embarrassing to not hear a murderer sneaking up behind you.
Does nothing to block out your coworkers’ stupid fucking faces.
Can lead to dangerous dependency on silence.
Hearing things was your last non-commercial connection to the world.