Shareable electric scooter programs have started to roll out into U.S. cities, leading to debate over whether their benefits outweigh the potential consequences. The Onion looks at the pros and cons of shareable electric scooters.
PRO
Sturdy, but still light enough for child to tip into lake
Always good to get people walking less
Cape flows nicely at full speed
Huge spike in organ donations
CON
Another asshole in Palo Alto is getting rich
Can barely even reach 30 mph on the freeway
Economy juggling enough different tech bubbles as it is
Still doesn’t solve problem of walking 20 feet from front door to scooter on sidewalk
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