Pros And Cons Of Vaccine Passports

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With a significant portion of Americans indicating opposition to getting a coronavirus vaccine, debate has risen over the potential use of vaccine passports, or digital vaccination records that could be required for travel or to enter certain establishments. The Onion evaluates the pros and cons of vaccine passports.

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PRO

Eliminates need to carry around stack of medical records everywhere.
Ideal new relic for Covid-themed time capsule.
About time for new way to bar access to public activity.
Perfect excuse to not invite Greg.
Fun chance to pull out the laminating machine!

CON

Pointing at shoulder Band-Aid works fine.
Wallet already full of Quiznos punchcards.
Holding citizens accountable to public good unconstitutional.
Still banned from Panama City Beach for life.
There’s probably a way to do this that’s fair and ethical, but that won’t be the way we will do it.