Like many people, I was thrilled when the U.S. Treasury announced its plan to put a woman on the $10 bill. Long overdue, if you ask me! The jury’s still out on who it will be, though. It might be Eleanor Roosevelt or Rosa Parks or any number of other great American women. But I have another suggestion, and it’s going to knock your socks off: my beautiful daughter Sydney Louise.
She’d be perfect, I’m telling you. Absolutely perfect.
That daughter of mine is the cutest, most darling little girl you’ll ever meet. Believe me, you’d be crazy not to want to see that sweet pumpkin’s face every time you break a $20. I know for a fact that when you see her there in your wallet, smiling back at you, it will brighten up your day.
“Would you believe she knows how to say ‘I love you’ in Spanish? I don’t know where she got that—I didn’t teach it to her. She’s just a really smart kid.”
Not to downplay the other candidates’ achievements, of course. Harriet Tubman, Susan B. Anthony—they’re all great. I’m sure they’d make excellent choices. But let’s not forget that my daughter plays soccer, rides horseback, does jazz tap after school, and sold the most Girl Scout cookies in her Brownie troop this spring. Eighty-three boxes! Eighty-three!
As if that weren’t enough, her little face when she sleeps is, honest to God, the most peaceful, angelic thing you’ve ever seen in your life! I tell you, you wouldn’t want to see that precious face of hers on just the 10; you’d want it on ones, fives, 20s—all of ’em!
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Of course he thinks that. He’s her father. He’s probably just biased.” But let me tell you something: It’s not just me! I swear, whenever we go to the park or the store or out to eat at Friendly’s, people are always coming up to me and telling me how adorable she is. And you know what? She is adorable.
Just the other day, a waitress went out of her way to say how polite my daughter was for having her napkin folded neatly in her lap. Can you even imagine having a little sweetheart like that on a crisp new banknote?
Look, the decision to honor an American female on our paper money for the first time ever is exciting news—not just for women, but for everybody. And to think that person could be my one and only Sydney Louise? I’d be over the moon. It would be hard for me to even spend one of those bills.
She’s that precious.
If you need more convincing, I’ve got lots of photos you can see on Facebook. There’s one from Halloween last year when she was a Minion, and it will melt your heart—I’ve got that one as my computer wallpaper! If you’re still unsure, check out the video clip of her singing a solo at the Christmas pageant. Her verse of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” stole the show! And when she was waiting her turn to sing onstage, she was very well-behaved, which is more than I can say of the other kids in her class.
What’s more, she’s riding her bike all the time now, and she loves to read—absolutely loves it. (She’s been reading since she was 3!) And would you believe she knows how to say “I love you” in Spanish? I don’t know where she got that—I didn’t teach it to her. She’s just a really smart kid.
Honestly, who wouldn’t want a girl like that on the new 10? That’s why I’m asking everyone who reads this: When they start asking who you’d like to see on the $10 bill, say “Sydney Louise Trammell.” You’ll be glad you did, I swear.
Just so there’s no confusion, I should mention that my other daughter, Stephanie, is a sweet girl too, but between you and me, she’s really not $10 bill material.