ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS, NJ—Saying the product will allow for more efficient and thorough cleaning, representatives from the Unilever corporation announced Tuesday the addition of a multi-function electric ear swab to its longstanding Q-tips line. “The three-speed vibrating cotton tip of the new E-Swab is great for everyday cleaning or for breaking up stubborn earwax buildup,” Unilever spokesman Tim Werner said at a press conference, adding that the swab could fully charge overnight via an AC adapter plugged into the stem. “Finally, at long last, the Q-tip has caught up with the 21st century!” Werner went on to say that the new swab would be sold in packs of 200 for approximately $5,000.

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