Questions To Ask Yourself Before Quitting Your Job

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Quitting Your Job

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Don’t just storm out of the office, spewing profanities at your boss. Always ask yourself the following questions before quitting your job.

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Is there anything else I need to steal?

Is there anything else I need to steal?

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Whether it’s a hoard of office supplies or straight-up embezzlement, ask yourself if there’s anything else you need to swipe from your company before you turn in that keycard.

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Do I have enough saved to cover 9 to 12 years of expenses?

Do I have enough saved to cover 9 to 12 years of expenses?

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It can take a long time to find a job, so be prepared to have a decade’s worth of money saved up before quitting.

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Am I really going through with this?

Am I really going through with this?

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No. You’re too comfortable, and you know it. Back to work.

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Do I plan on getting cancer?

Do I plan on getting cancer?

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Since you’ll be losing your health insurance benefits, you might want to work out the timing with your prostate before making such an important decision.

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Who could I marry for health insurance?

Who could I marry for health insurance?

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Before quitting, make sure you’ve got at least one or two potential saps lined up.

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Am I getting enough water?

Am I getting enough water?

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Your need to properly hydrate doesn’t change just because you’re quitting.

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Who will fly the plane?

Who will fly the plane?

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You might want to sleep on this decision if you don’t trust your co-pilot to take over halfway through this flight

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Have I fucked everyone in the office I had a shot with?

Have I fucked everyone in the office I had a shot with?

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If not, try to give a generous notice, so you can spend a few weeks sealing the deal.

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What would today’s world look like if the British had won the Revolutionary War?

What would today’s world look like if the British had won the Revolutionary War?

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This is just an interesting thing to ponder in general.

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If you want to be in the communion wafer industry, is there really a better place to work than The Cavanagh Company?

If you want to be in the communion wafer industry, is there really a better place to work than The Cavanagh Company?

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They’re the best in the biz, and you know it.

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Have you had enough of this shit?

Have you had enough of this shit?

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If you can put up with more of this bullshit, the time is not right.

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How long can I keep this from my wife?

How long can I keep this from my wife?

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Sure, you can keep wearing a suit and head out the door every morning, but at some point, your wife will find out that you’ve been hiding out at a Starbucks to keep this secret from her.

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Do I really deserve respect?

Do I really deserve respect?

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If you’re thinking of leaving your job because your superiors treat you poorly, stop and consider whether you even deserve better.

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Don’t you think your fans will miss you, Mr. Day-Lewis?

Don’t you think your fans will miss you, Mr. Day-Lewis?

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You can’t just give us Phantom Thread and then step into the shadows forever!

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What of Milord’s fields?

What of Milord’s fields?

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Goodman Bennet’s sons will till them, tarry not.

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When did this temporary job turn into a career?

When did this temporary job turn into a career?

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Eight years ago, you walked in here as an unweathered post-grad, accepted an offer for a temporary administrative position, and then, in the blink of an eye, “in the meantime” turned into forever. What happened to your dreams? When did you give up?

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Will another year on the job lead to a constitutional crisis?

Will another year on the job lead to a constitutional crisis?

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Yes. Retire now.

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Don’t you know that once you’re in, the only way out is in a body bag?

Don’t you know that once you’re in, the only way out is in a body bag?

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No one leaves the organization. Ever.

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