Rainforest Tree Remains Very Still In Hopes That Bulldozer Will Lose Interest And Drive Away

Illustration for article titled Rainforest Tree Remains Very Still In Hopes That Bulldozer Will Lose Interest And Drive Away

VICTORIA, AUSTRALIA—As the heat and noise from the massive beast prowling nearby grew closer, a rainforest tree was reportedly remaining very still Monday in hopes that the bulldozer would lose interest and drive away. Sources reported that the jackwood tree remained completely immobile to ensure that it did not so much rustle a leaf and risk provoking a potentially fatal attack from the savage predator, and tried to make itself as small as possible in the belief that the massive piece of machinery might ignore it. In addition, the tree recalled a previous occasion when it had successfully remained still long enough for an encroaching bulldozer to eventually get bored and wander away, but had heard of other occasions when the bulldozer attacked trees regardless of their immobility and rampaged through the rainforest. Often these attacks came when the bulldozer was downwind of the tree and could be riled up by its scent, as the panicking tree reportedly realized was currently the case. At press time, the jackwood tree was reportedly considering trying to make a break for it and flee the bulldozer at the rate of a centimeter per century.