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Rare ‘Penis Plant’ Blooms For First Time In 25 Years

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A two-meter tall Amorphophallus decus-silvae, or “penis plant,” which reeks of decomposing flesh and looks vaguely phallic, recently flowered at the Leiden Hortus Botanicus in the Netherlands, the first time this type of plant has bloomed in Europe in nearly 25 years. What do you think?

“Europe has always been more sexually liberated than America.”

Whitmer Sirota, Kowtow Savant

“See, ladies? Sometimes you just have to be patient for two and a half decades.”

Russ Corlee, Annuitant

“Too bad. I’ve got a headache.”

Akilah Ebort, Systems Analyst