Ratings-Hungry Chris Cuomo Devotes Program To Interviewing 23 Other Cuomo Brothers

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NEW YORK—Enjoying a significant uptick in viewers following recent viral appearances on his television show by New York governor and brother Andrew, ratings-hungry CNN analyst Chris Cuomo devoted an entire program Tuesday to interviewing the remaining 23 brothers in the Cuomo family. “This segment is called ‘Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo on Cuomo,’ and I’ll be interviewing the sons of Mario and Matilda Cuomo,” said the CNN host and a member of the quadruplet consisting of Carlo, Giovanni, and Luca Cuomo. “First up, we have Donnie, Steven, Bobby, Orlando, Frank, Lou, and Jimmy with the famous pie shop, as well as Vinnie, a market analyst in Cleveland. Let’s not forget Benny the Butcher, Sinbad the artist, Eddie the mechanic, Lorenzo the tailor, and Artie, who is 54 but has yet to get a job or move out of our mother’s house. Come on, Artie, get it together. Hopefully, we can get my brother Beppo to play his accordion for us. And now we’re joined by Al, Paulie, Antonio, Ricky, Luigi, and Marco Cuomo who run a burger joint down in Bay Ridge. These guys are my best friends, and we talk to each other several times a day.” At press time, CNN viewers were delighted as all 24 brothers were talking over each other.

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