Tragic Childhoods per Attempt: 1
Little-Known Fact: Has never formally met Joe Flacco
Biggest Regret: Picked his number too quickly
Running Style: Put head down and try not to get killed
Fantasy Outlook: Very good chance the running back will go with the one about being trapped in an elevator with Scarlett Johansson, who turns out to be a she-male with a 19-inch cock