Real Estate Insiders To Keep Close Eye On Newborn Sired By 3-Time Re/Max Sales Champion

ARLINGTON HEIGHTS, IL—Marvelling at the potential a child of such noble blood could possess, sources within a group of real estate insiders revealed Monday that they are keeping a close eye on the newborn sired by a three-time Re/Max sales champion. “His father is an unequalled virtuoso of bidding wars who once closed on a property with a flooded basement in four days,” said one inside source, adding that the infant’s mother was a six-time salesperson of the month at Caldwell, a pedigree that suggested the child would one day masterfully run open houses and play buyers against each other with unrivaled skill. “His parentage is impeccable—between his father’s easygoing charm and his mother’s deep knowledge of Cook County market trends, this child, mark my words, will appear on his own billboard by his 21st birthday.” Several of the insiders went on to say that they hoped the baby did not end up like Julia Woodward, who forsook her highborn real estate destiny to work as a computer programer.


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