KUWAIT—Recounting the ancient story of a group of traditional women going out and partying to reward themselves in Sumer’s nightlife district after a long day of weaving, an ancient Sumerian cuneiform tablet depicting the earliest known observance of Ladies’ Night was discovered Thursday by a team of archaeologists from the University of Oxford. “This remarkable tablet uses the Sumerian-Akkadian script common around 2250 B.C.E. to portray a lively group of gals going out on the town to let loose, enjoy two-for-one Lagaban iced teas, and do some serious folk dancing,” said Meredith Lake, the researcher in charge of the dig site, explaining that the clay tablet went into great detail about which local venues hosted events where “grown and sexy” ladies got in for free, as well as the exact styles of reed sandals considered necessary for said outings. “They would wear their finest flaxen robes and feathered headdresses and instruct their husbands to stay home and watch the kids. It’s truly fascinating to see the cultural constants at work here since, before this discovery, we believed Ladies’ Night originated in the Mycenaean culture in the 15th century B.C.E.” The same dig site has also yielded several tablets depicting the earliest known observance of Taco Tuesdays.

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