Illustration for article titled Recycling: Myth Vs. Fact

Recycling has been practiced for most of human history, and over the last several decades, it has become a cornerstone in the fight against environmental degradation, but many myths about it persist. The Onion debunks common myths about recycling.

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MYTH: Most people have a general idea of the rules of recycling.

FACT: The average individual has ruined at least 50 loads of recycling with a greasy napkin.

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MYTH: Recycling protects wildlife.

FACT: Recycling coddles wildlife and prevents evolution to their ultimate form.


MYTH: Your office has a robust recycling program, at least.

FACT: Nah, it all goes in a dumpster.


MYTH: You need to wash your recyclables before disposing of them.

FACT: You need to wash then steam-dry then iron your recyclables before disposing of them.

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MYTH: Wait, you don’t recycle in your house?

FACT: Try the door under the sink that looks like a cabinet.


MYTH: Old glass bottles can be recycled as repurposed gifts.

FACT: No one actually wants that.


MYTH: Recycling wastes water.

FACT: Only if you consider using millions of gallons of water to melt down old milk jugs into single-use plastics “wasteful.”

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MYTH: Recycling is the most important way to help the environment.

FACT: Everyone has been sleeping on Reduce and Reuse, and this world will rue the day when their reckoning is upon us.

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