Your new relationship may seem perfect, but the reality is, the human brain is remarkably good at excusing egregious behavior while horny. Here are some major red flags you should definitely clock the second you start dating.
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Slipping up once or twice is understandable, but after the first $5,000, you might start feeling resentful.
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Your date should focus on you, not the level of Magic Tiles 3 you’re absolutely crushing.
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Is this optical defect just the first of many medical maladies that your potential partner could burden you with?
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Even if they seem sweet, this person might not be in it for the long haul.
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Don’t listen to her! She’s lying because she wants to hurt you. Remember, you’re a disgusting little boy, and no one will ever love you more than mommy.
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If they think their ex was nuts, just wait until they see what you put them through.
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Your server worked hard all night; the least your date could do is leave 20,000%.
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Always well-groomed with an eye-catching yet tasteful sense of style, you’ve got to wonder if this person is trying to make you look like shit or something?
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The two of you could be bonding over carpet samples right now if they’d only stop yammering on about their own finished basement for a minute to ask about yours.
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Tacky!
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Nobody’s perfect, but wouldn’t you rather hold out for a Laker or a Knick?
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Ultimately, your own judgment is the most important, but if your current boyfriend or girlfriend is really put off by this new person, at least take their input seriously.
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Surely there must be a better suitor for a Capulet such as yourself here in fair Verona?
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Sheesh, we get it, they had a wonderful night tonight.
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Maybe their eyes are rolled back into their head, maybe their mouth is full of spider webs where their teeth should be—whatever it is that’s giving you bad vibes, don’t feel bad about trusting your gut.
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Anger and hypercriticism are huge red flags, so get out of there the moment you get blamed for assassinating John F. Kennedy and ending America’s innocence.
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Trust us, dating a flock of geese never works out.
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No matter how charming and intelligent she seems, you have to remember that as long as she’s still married to director Taylor Hackford, she isn’t ready for real commitment.
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A sign they’re definitely not on antidepressants, which begs the question: “Why not?”
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Purely physical relationships are fine, but if they go straight for murder on the first date, don’t be surprised if that’s all they want from you.
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