With Meredith Vieira rumored to be leaving the Today show when her contract expires this year, NBC is scrambling to find a new female cohost. Here are some of the people being considered:
- Ellen DeGeneres—She already does shit like this now, might as well do it earlier in the morning
- Jane Pauley—Right the wrong of 1989, NBC!
- Patti Smith—While admittedly a bit less polished than the usual Today anchor, Smith could really help NBC capture the demographic currently using their TV as part of an art installation.
- M.E.R.E.D.I.T.H.—Building on their experience with Watson, the Jeopardy!-playing computer, IBM engineers have created an artificial host program that asks perfectly inane questions.
- Bob Costas—With the right lighting he looks just like Katie Couric for half the price
- Paula Zahn—Equally comfortable seated on a couch or casually walking four steps toward a table while throwing to commercial
- Tyra Banks—Plenty of experience talking and being sassy, and she's been naturally waking up earlier and earlier for some reason
- Natalie Morales—Veteran Today correspondent shares Vieira's shoe size, which would help NBC save thousands per year in wardrobe costs