EUGENE, OR—Stating that some are engaging in verbal altercations nearly every day while others had stopped speaking to one another weeks ago, a report released Friday by researchers at the University of Oregon has found that 45 percent of all randomly paired freshman roommates in the U.S. are currently at their breaking point. “According to our data, nearly half of first-year college students don’t know if they can stand one more day in their dorm room, citing issues ranging from a lack of personal space, to concerns about their roommate’s hygiene, to irritation with the roommate taking their food from the shared mini-fridge,” said lead researcher Jennifer Zeller, who noted that while some freshmen residents had already met with an RA and explored alternative housing options, others were taking the opportunity to return home on the weekends or spend nights sleeping at a significant other’s dormitory. “At this point, the situation for hundreds of thousands of freshmen is beyond the point of reconciliation. Within days, we expect many of these strained relations to completely blow up, likely after one of the roommates once again comes back to the room after midnight and immediately turns on another loud jam band song.” Zeller noted, however, that the disaffected college students were taking some comfort in the knowledge that they would get to complain about having had “the worst” freshman roommate with every acquaintance they meet for the next several decades.