STANFORD, CA—Saying the study could shed light on the full spectrum of human sexuality, a report published Wednesday by researchers at Stanford University found that a lot of people’s dream is to have sex with a ghost. “According to our research, a significant proportion of Americans want to have sex with a ghost very much and would probably do so on a regular basis,” read the report in part, adding that the findings far exceeded initial projections for the number of people demonstrating interest in carnal relations with a phantom, shade, or specter. “Even if you do not personally want to have sex with an apparition, our data suggests that you almost certainly are personally acquainted with someone whose greatest wish is to have a spirit appear in the middle of the night and make love to them until the morning sunlight banishes it back to the netherworld. Indeed, several authors of this report may even have felt this way themselves.” The report went on to say that among those who didn’t dream of having sex with a ghost, 100 percent expressed a passionate desire to do so with a centaur.

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