Report: Amtrak Loses $100 Million Annually To Route Interruptions Caused By Mustachioed Villains Tying Kidnapped Damsels To Railroad Tracks

Illustration for article titled Report: Amtrak Loses $100 Million Annually To Route Interruptions Caused By Mustachioed Villains Tying Kidnapped Damsels To Railroad Tracks

Find out how often your local route is disrupted by train conductors unwittingly barreling over screaming lassies as they wave their dainty handkerchiefs in the air for help.

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