Report: Antismoking Group Has Never Even Tried Cigarettes

WINSTON-SALEM, NC—A controversial report released Monday by the tobacco advocacy group Smoking Now blasted the antismoking group Truth.org for never even once taking a drag off a rich, flavorful brand-name cigarette before forming its negative opinions. "This is America," pro-smoking activist Amber Joyce said. "What ever happened to not knocking it before you try it? Give it at least a pack, then come back and tell us that it's no fun." The report concluded that if the members of Truth .org just bummed a couple while they were drunk, they would see how smooth and cool cigarettes, and they themselves, could be.