EAST HANOVER, NJ—A new report released by the Food and Drug Administration Monday suggests that regular consumption of Oreo's Double Stuf cookies could lead to an increased tolerance to stuf. "For 90 percent of Americans, it now takes twice as much stuf to reach the same level of satisfaction once achieved with a single layer of stuf," the report read in part. "Millions of consumers have taken drastic measures to recreate their initial stuf experience, including the manual construction of quadruple-stuf Oreos and chronic stuf-licking. Some have even gone so far as to twist off one side of the cookie, scrape the stuf off with their teeth, and discard the two chocolate wafers." Oreo executives downplayed a portion of the report claiming that children as young as 8 have begun lacing vanilla stuf with peanut butter stuf and mixing it with substances such as pizza.
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