Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

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CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now. “I guess he’s going to hobble around like this from now on,” said grandson Michael Adelstein, watching the trembling 77-year-old as he slowly shambled around the house. “There’s no chance it’s going to get better at this point, so we should probably get used to him dragging his stiff leg behind him. We’re going to hear his hip socket pop whenever he takes a step, and that’s the way it’s going to be, end of story.” At press time, sources in the Adelstein household reported that Grandpa Marvin was now in a wheelchair, which apparently is what he will use to get around until the day he dies.