AUSTIN, TX—Weighing in on the matter after you had dressed for work and departed for the office, a new report issued Thursday determined that your choice of outfit this morning sure was an interesting one. “Wow, you look…um, that’s quite the ensemble you’ve got going there,” the report read in part, before continuing on to speculate where one would even go to buy something like that. “No, come on, there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just…it’s just surprising, that’s all. Definitely a statement, too, especially with those shoes. Not in a bad way! Far from it. But you have to admit it’s a combination most people would never consider, and not exactly an easy look to pull off. Oh—oh God, are you crying?” At press time, a supplemental report had been issued stating that you look just fine and asking you to please forget everything that had been said in the initial report.
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