MINNEAPOLIS—According to a study published this week by the University of Minnesota’s Institute of Linguistics, the majority of statements made in the United States today are prefaced by the phrase “In light of recent events.” “Our survey of American speech patterns found that 71 percent of all utterances now start with some variation of the words ‘Given what occurred earlier today,’ or, slightly more rarely, ‘Based on what we know at this point,’” said the report’s author, Karen Sodhi, who added that nearly four in five of these remarks begin with the speaker taking a deep breath and then pausing for a moment to gather themselves before talking aloud. “We also determined that more than two-thirds of all statements spoken in the U.S. are delivered in a solemn, emotionally strained, and occasionally broken tone of voice. Moreover, the data show a nearly one-to-one correlation between starting a declaration with the phrase ‘In light of recent events’ and shortly thereafter making a call for some thing or another to come to an end.” The report further noted that the bulk of statements made by Americans now also conclude with the phrase “We must stand together.”

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