ASTRAL PLANE—Citing an increased desire to take some time for themselves before joining the great choir invisible, more souls are choosing to defer entrance to Heaven for a year in order to spend time backpacking through the spirit realm, according to a comprehensive interfaith report released Thursday. “I have my whole afterlife ahead of me to bask in the divine light of God, so I figure, hey, why not stop and spend some time exploring the celestial spheres?” said soul Greg Heinlen, one of thousands of incorporeal manifestations planning a gap year to enjoy the metaphysical realm’s most popular attractions. “I think it’s important to contemplate the cosmos at my leisure before I really commit to Heaven. Obviously, I want to drink from Lethe, the river of forgetfulness, and I want to surf the cosmic tides. And then, Purgatory—yes, it’s basically a tourist trap, but they have super cheap hostels, so I may as well check it out.” Heavenly officials have stressed that admission for all souls is subject to review and possible revocation if evidence comes to light of lewd pursuits during visits to Hell.
More from The Onion