ANN ARBOR, MI—According to a report published Monday by the University of Michigan, an increasing number of women are now choosing to freeze their eggs until an age when a sudden, unexplained epidemic of mass infertility places society on the verge of collapse. “Our data confirmed that more and more women are choosing to put off having children and instead cryogenically freeze their eggs until the day humanity finds itself on the brink of extinction,” read the report in part, which drew from hundreds of anonymous interviews with women all over the country, many of whom expressed a sense of comfort in knowing that their eggs would remain preserved until the “right moment” when humans can no longer reproduce and civilization is plagued by depopulation. “The current trend is that, rather than trying to get pregnant in their 20s and 30s, many women would prefer to focus on their careers while they still exist and before they are forced to adopt a hunting-and-gathering lifestyle for survival in a barren, dystopian wasteland. For many women, it’s important for them to know that all of humanity is relying on them to keep the species alive before making the commitment to become a mother.” The report also explained that many women are waiting to get married until they can leverage the union into an alliance with the powerful warlord of a post-apocalyptic nomadic tribe.

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