Report: NFL Investigating Patriots Locker Room Attendant For ‘Deflategate’

The NFL is reportedly zeroing in on a New England Patriots locker room attendant as a “person of interest” in the so-called Deflategate scandal, in which 11 of 12 Patriots footballs used during the AFC title game were found to be under-inflated, with one source claiming a team employee took two bags of 12 balls into a single bathroom stall before the game. What do you think?

“Before we jump to conclusions, let’s remember there are plenty of innocent reasons a person might sneak off to the bathroom with two dozen footballs.”

John Whitehead • Unemployed

“Well, it’s highly unlikely a powerful organization would throw a low-level employee under the bus, so this is probably as high as it goes.”

Leslee Howton • Juicing Expert

“They should wrap this up soon so there’s nothing to distract from the game except every other scandal that’s happened in the NFL this season.”

George Cotton • Tape Rewinder

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