SAN DIEGO—Saying their growling and howling proficiency was significantly lacking, a report released Tuesday by the University of California San Diego found that only 1 in 3 preschool graduates has the necessary animal sound skills upon entering a zoo. “Overall, just two thirds of these kindergarten-bound children can faithfully reproduce even the most basic vocalizations of the animals they’ll encounter at a zoo,” said lead author Drew Relman, adding that a mere 20 percent correctly beat their chests and grunted at a gorilla while only half even knew they were supposed to roar at a lion. “It’s startling to see how many of these children think it’s perfectly correct to neigh to the gazelles or chirp at the owls. If they have this much difficulty at a zoo, what chance do they have on a field trip to a farm?” Relman went on to say it may be necessary for these children to be remedially educated with the most basic meowing at cats and barking at dogs.

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