Report: Those Sensors That Flush Public Toilets Were Also Cameras This Whole Time

NEW YORK—A report published Monday by researchers at the Journal Of Public Health Management And Practice revealed those sensors that flush public toilets were also cameras this whole time. “After decades of relying on the devices for automated flushing, it appears those red blinking sensors in toilet stalls have also been filming each and every one of their users as they relieved themselves,” read the report in part, which added that the sensors use their camera functionality to record around-the-clock footage of bowel movements and urinations before transmitting the video to the 2.5 million people employed to monitor these feeds. “These are state-of-the-art cameras, as well. So although they’re only recording you from behind, their little electric eyes can see everything. They can even zoom in for incredibly detailed close-ups.” The report also described how the high-definition microphones hidden in the manual override buttons also pick up a constant audio feed that is immediately transmitted along when pressed.

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