Report: Trump Conducted Illegal Business In Cuba

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Newsweek has revealed that Donald Trump conducted business in Communist Cuba throughout the late 1990s, illegally violating the trade embargo even while publicly declaring that U.S. businesses must avoid deals with Cuba in order to help bring down Castro. What do you think?

“This is exactly the kind of scandal that could sink Trump’s campaign or not matter in the slightest.”

Willa Jameson • Shovel Collector

“Clandestine dealings with Cuba? He’s even more presidential than I thought!”

Eric Nichols • Canister Filler


“Let’s hear Trump’s side before jumping to conclusions. For all we know, Newsweek is a dying magazine run by a bunch of pathetic losers.”

Morty Lefkin • Trouser Pleater