NATE WHITMAN'S SUBCONSCIOUS—After an extensive search of local resident Nate Whitman's euphoric sleeping fantasy, a crack team of his most pressing responsibilities was finally able to locate the 29-year-old claims adjuster at 5:30 a.m., one hour before his alarm clock was set to go off. "It looks like we arrived just in time," said Whitman's two-month-old outstanding car payment, speaking on behalf of itself and several other responsibilities—including his mother's upcoming birthday and next week's jury duty selection. "He was being fellated by Scarlett Johansson while piloting a Jet Ski at high speeds. We're lucky we caught up to him before he started flying." After leading him through a vivid fantasy of taking his work shirts into the dry cleaners, Whitman's responsibilities turned him over to several embarrassing moments from high school for his remaining 45 minutes of fitful slumber.
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