
As a general rule, restaurant workers should never, ever be respected. The Onion asked customers why they refuse to tip, and this is what they said.
As a general rule, restaurant workers should never, ever be respected. The Onion asked customers why they refuse to tip, and this is what they said.
“No restaurant fulfills the basic courtesy of sending a jester to my table to entertain me while I feast.”
“Money only complicates relationships with people who bring me plates of food.”
“What, I’m supposed to bring my abacus everywhere? Get real.”
“It’s just a nice little thing I do for myself.”
“I object to the system as a whole and am taking it down, one underpaid worker at a time.”
“Tipping could be construed as an admission of wrongdoing.”
“I seem like I might be foreign, so I can get away with it.”
“They’d probably just spend it on drugs.”
“I hate to think that they’re only giving me good service because they’ll be getting money out of it.”
“People having enough money to live is un-American.”
“The restaurant should be the one responsible for making sure the waitstaff earns the same unlivable minimum wage as the rest of us.”
“Unless you have a subpoena from a court, I don’t have to tell you anything.”
“I normally dine and dash, so technically I’m generously tipping 20% on zero dollars.”
“I’m terrible at mental math.”
“My pleasant and respectful disposition as a customer is worth more than any tip.”
“I tipped them in exposure.”
“I want to encourage my servers to get into a higher-paying industry.”
“I’m just here to buy the cheapest thing on the menu so I can take a shit in the customers-only bathroom.”