Retired Nun Embezzles $835,000 To Fund Gambling Habit

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A retired nun faces up to 40 years in prison after she admitted to embezzling $835,000 from a Catholic school in California, using tuition fees and donations to subsidize her casino gambling expenses. What do you think?

“This never would have happened if God had just staked her the 800 grand like she prayed for.”

Vince Niedermaier, Catastrophe Speculator

“I’d take a vow of poverty for that kind of money.”

Charles Ruthenberg, Doll Beautician

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“Hey, as long as the money was diverted from Catholicism.”

Hope Caneza, Skywriting Copyeditor