Richard Simmons Clarifies He’s Not Being Held Hostage

After the New York Daily News alleged that Richard Simmons was being held hostage in his home by a longtime maid, the 67-year-old fitness guru called in to The Today Show to clarify he has merely made a personal choice to avoid public appearances since 2014. What do you think?

“I refuse to believe that Richard Simmons would ever willingly deny us his presence.”

Maisey Donoghue • Incline Calculator


“Great. I got my tactical weapons gear out for nothing.”

Harley Boone • Spring Coiler

“Richard Simmons is hostage only to leg day.”

Judd Roland • Kale Lobbyist