Richest Billionaires In The World And How They Avoid Paying Taxes

“I just check the box on my 1040 that asks if I’d like to opt out.”

“All my cash is tied up in teens.”

“I safely stowed away half of my considerable $130 billion fortune in a shell ex-wife.”

“They know that if they come for my money, they can kiss their precious surveillance network goodbye.”

“[meme of sloth in sunglasses leaning back in hip-hop stance]”

“I’ve led my secretary to believe she is taxed at a rate of 900,000,000%, and then I use that money for my own taxes.”

“The money? You’re looking for all my money? Uh, Jim has it.”

“My money? I don’t have any money. I gave it all to Rob.”

“I claim every family member I portray as a legal dependent.”

“I upgraded to TurboTax Executive, which includes money laundering and falsifying documents.”

“I registered myself as a tax-exempt religion.”

“Just cover myself in grease and off I go! Woop woop woop woop woop!”

“‘Shucks, I’m but a humble Kansas farmer boy, Mr. IRS Daddy Man.’ And then I do a bashful little face.”

“I just assumed I didn’t have to, and, weirdly, no one’s corrected me yet.”

“I have a really good guy at H&R block.”

“I have 125 children from the thousands of women I’ve slept with, so all the tax credits pretty much take care of it.”

“I converted all my wealth to cash and covered it with honey to attract bees. There are now tens of trillions of bees protecting my money from tax collectors.”

“I always guilts IRS agents by asking them if, out of all the billionaires out there, they really want to tax the candy guy.”

“I learned this trick years ago that even if you made tens of millions in a year, you can just write zero in the income line. Works every time.”

“The IRS can’t touch your money if you have it all tied up in Aerosmith merch.”

“I died of cancer in order to dodge billions in taxes in 2019.”