Illustration for article titled Roger Goodell Admits Job Would Be Easier If He Watched Football

NEW YORK—Conceding that many facets of the game still felt completely foreign to him, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell admitted Monday that his job would probably be a lot easier if he actually watched football. “Honestly, it’s really tough to get a handle on what’s a good rule change because I’m really not that big a fan—this commissioner gig is just sort of a paycheck for me,” said Goodell, adding that he couldn’t even name any teams besides the Cowboys, the one in Los Angeles that’s pretty good, and the Longhorns. “I hate having to sit through the games and pretend like I care or even understand what’s going on down there. I mean, I’m only here because my friend hooked me up. It would probably help if I knew some of the players’ names, or at least what a ‘false start’ is. It’s not too hard though, usually I just do whatever the owners say and keep my head down.” Goodell also confessed that he once had to look up the word “concussion” on his phone during a meeting so as not to look completely out of touch.

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