Ron DeSantis Shakes World War II Vet’s Tongue

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TALLAHASSEE, FL—In an effort to connect with voters while on the 2024 campaign trail, Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL) ended a fundraiser Tuesday by approaching a World War II veteran and shaking his tongue. Several reports indicated that the governor first noticed the D-Day veteran at the press event, at which point he approached the elderly man, screamed, and immediately plunged his hand into the unsuspecting 96-year-old’s mouth. DeSantis—amid audible gasps from the crowd—then violently shook his hand up and down, yanked the man’s tongue out several inches, and yelled “thank you for your service,” all before removing his saliva-covered hand, yelping, and then wiping it on the front of the veteran’s shirt. At press time, DeSantis was under fire after approaching a baby and shoving the entire infant in his mouth.