ARLINGTON, VA—Touting it as an easy and effective way to superficially connect with Latino voters, education technology company Rosetta Stone unveiled Tuesday a new Spanish language program exclusively for pandering presidential hopefuls. “By using our interactive learning system, candidates will quickly become familiar with dozens of useful phrases they can trot out at campaign appearances across the country, including everything from ‘Los inmigrantes construyeron América,’ or ‘Immigrants built America,’ to ‘¡Vamanos Marlins!’ or ‘Go Marlins!’” said Rosetta Stone CEO John Hass, noting that the course is composed of five parts: Commending Hard Work, Celebrating Family Values, Attending Catholic Services, Praising Regional Foods, and Appearing On Univision. “In less than one week of daily language exercises, users can go from knowing no Spanish at all to appearing to care about the Latino community, all from the comfort of their own bus or hotel room.” Hass added that the company was also offering a supplementary course for those candidates seeking to carefully skirt around questions about creating a path to citizenship.

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