Ruffles Announces Decision To End Product So Snack Can Go Out On Top

Illustration for article titled Ruffles Announces Decision To End Product So Snack Can Go Out On Top

PLANO, TX—Calling the decision “the best move for all involved,” Ruffles announced at a press conference Monday that they were ending their product so the snack could go out on top. “We have no doubt that fans will miss our awesome, tasty crunch, but we’ve decided to end things on our terms,” said the ridged potato chips, confirming reports that the popular snack brand would be ceasing production after a seven-decade run. “We have a perfect streak of killing it at every party we’re at, so why not leave at the top of our game? We knew this crazy ride couldn’t last forever, and we’d rather live on as a cherished memory enjoyed by millions than overstay our welcome. After all, look what happened to Chex Mix. Is it better to burn bright or fade away?” At press time, a tearful Ruffles choked up while acknowledging the support of longtime snackers.