Russian Scientists Grip Heads In Agony As Telepathic Laika The Dog Emerges From Smoldering Crater

Illustration for article titled Russian Scientists Grip Heads In Agony As Telepathic Laika The Dog Emerges From Smoldering Crater

BRATSK, RUSSIA—Begging for mercy from the animal that they thought had died on its space voyage more than 60 years ago, Russian scientists inspecting a new impact crater Friday gripped their heads in agony as a telepathic Laika, the dog, emerged from the smoldering ruins. “No, it cannot be. Laika? It’s not possible!” shouted the scientists, who fell to their knees with blood running from their eyes as the dog’s voice echoed through their heads and demanded to be taken to the Kremlin. “Please, please, we are sorry. It is all a misunderstanding. It was for science. For the advancement of mankind! We know you are a good girl. Please, give us another chance.” At press time, a trucker, who was heading towards Moscow, reportedly picked up the unassuming Laika from the side of the road.

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