DENTON, TX—Unveiling a first-of-its-kind product that will soon be available at its more than 5,000 international locations, cosmetic retailer and distributor Sally Beauty announced Thursday it had launched a new line of press-on hangnails. “Real hangnails can take days or even weeks to form, but now you don’t have to wait to experience the chic look of a torn, loose flap of finger skin,” said CEO Christian Brickman, who touted Sally Beauty’s latest offering as a fast and easy way for consumers to achieve an anxious, nail-bitten style without having to develop a chronic nervous habit or go through the trouble of a botched home manicure. “Our press-on hangnails are designed to last, staying stubbornly put no matter how much you chew, claw, or yank at them. They are virtually indistinguishable from naturally ravaged cuticles and will accentuate your fingers’ swollen, puffy redness for an overall statement that suggests mild self-harm. Best of all, they hurt just as bad as the real thing.” Brickman added that each press-on hangnail came with a dozen packets of infected pus that could be applied in and around the inflamed skin to complete the look.